Has support for lockdown become a new religion I ask myself? The news that lockdown will go on until June at least and Primary school children will be required to wear masks makes me think so.
In this new religion - which I will call lockdownism - God is the mysterious Sage committee whose utterances are taken with the same reverance as the Biblical 10 commandments received not by Moses but his modern day successor - Matt Hancock or the third member of the covid Trinity, the Archangel Boris ( or in Scotland our very own version of the Virgin Mary, Nicola Sturgeon).
These covid commandments are not delivered at the foot of Mount Horeb but at weekly press conferences where Hancock or Boris outline details of the written on stone commandments issued by Sage that week. Failure to abide by these rules can cause the sinner severe repurcusions such as being blocked on Facebook. Anyone who dares to commit the ultimate sin and say that lockdown has gone too far is accused of heresy and burned at the modern day stake by being trolled and blocked on twitter, tutted at in supermarkets or even reported to the religious Police.
Of course, for those who obey there are rewards in lockdown heaven. An unlimited extension to lockdown restrictions would be heavenly, however 100 "likes" on Facebook for a pro lockdown comment also makes lockdownists happy. Of course for extreme believers such as those making primary school kids wear masks in playgrounds or extending lockdown months beyond when necessary then canonisation is always a possibility. This might occur when the Archangel Boris decides on next year's Honours list and dishes out Knighthoods instead of Sainthoods to those who dedicated there lives to finding new forms of restriction.
In much the same way as the Flagellants whipped themselves by way of penance and to ward off non existent demons during the Black Death, lockdown saints will quite happily accept a modern day whipping - sky high taxes for the next 100 years - to show their dedication to the cause and ensure that the covid devil is kept at bay.
Others have sought to gain covid blessings in much the same way as Stylites (picture below) who sat on top of pillars for years to avoid human contact whilst one hermit even passed ten years in a tub suspended in midair from poles to avoid breaking the "rule of 6" which is a fundamental belief in lockdownism. Surely this is the ultimate way to "stay home, save lives, protect the NHS".
Of course salvation looms just like in the Jewish Passover. In lockdownism though the Passover is the Great Vaccination where death is spared not by smearing lambs blood on lintels but by taking a jab at your local vaccination centre. Unlike the Passover though salvation is not guaranteed since some vaccines are only 99% effective and this means that to lockdownists, lockdown must continue.
Sadly though lockdownism does not end happily for adherents. It is reported that on arrival at the gates of heaven they have been refused entry since heaven is currently in lockdown in order to save souls and protect the heavenly health service. New arrivals are being quarantined in a place with no restrictions and no lockdown otherwise know as Hell.
(Stylites in ancient Byzantine. Note the careful 2 metre distancing between pillars)